


We Should be Lovers Instead

by lindsaylaurie



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Unrequited Love, this has probably been done a million times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 10:09:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4621332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lindsaylaurie/pseuds/lindsaylaurie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose tells Pearl she wants to have a child and Pearl doesn't take it well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Should be Lovers Instead

Rose wants to tell her something.

Just her. Not Garnet or Amethyst or the human. Just Pearl

Pearl waits in her room at the temple, idly rearranging her swords just to keep herself busy, to fight off the nervous energy that's eating up her physical form. She hopes against hope that Rose is going to tell her that she's having second thoughts about the human, that he's really more trouble than he's worth and ask for advice on how to turn him away. Pearl would be sympathetic. She would be tactful.

And then she would have Rose back.

The door slides open and Pearl stiffens. She closes her eyes slowly, exhales, and then turns around. There, in the doorway, in Rose Quartz, filling the space with her radiance, as always, but right away Pearl can tell something’s not right. Rose isn’t holding herself up as high, her smile has an anxious curve to it.

Something is wrong.

“Rose,” Pearl says, resisting the urge to bow. Rose hates it when she bows. She says they are equals. It’s laughable. Pearl will never be equal to Rose Quartz.

Rose’s smile twists as she steps into the room and the door closes behind her. “I hope I’m not bothering you.”

Peal wants to laugh. Rose, bothering her? “Never.”

Rose giggles and it just makes Pearl even more uneasy. A silence settles over the room that Pearl wants desperately to break. There’s such a gap between them. Why doesn’t Rose come closer?

“Listen, Pearl, I want to do something, something that I know you won’t like, but something I need to do.”

She’s serious now. The smiles and giggles have dissipated, leaving a sharpness to the air that makes Pearl shudder.

“I’m listening,” Pearl says, taking a step towards Rose, trying to initiate the closeness that they have been lacking lately.

They lock eyes. Pearl is rooted to the spot. “I want to have a baby with Greg.”

At first Pearl doesn’t register what’s just been said to her. She stares at Rose, looking for the lie, looking for some indication that this is a joke or she’s misheard. “You want to… but?” Pearl sputters, closes her eyes for a moment. “Rose, he’s a human. We don’t even know how humans do,” she waves a hand, “that.”

At least Pearl doesn’t. She realizes with increasing horror that Rose probably knows. That human has told Rose how to make more humans and now she’s gotten it in her head that she wants to make a… a what? A half human half gem?

Rose puts a hand on Pearl’s shoulder, something she’s taken to doing more and more after spending time with the human. Pearl can’t say she minds this particular development.

“Pearl, I know. It’s simply a matter of body parts. I can modify my form to incubate life. A new life!” Rose is smiling again now. She looks so excited that it hurts Pearl to be the voice of reason. But she must.

“But it’s never been done,” Pearl insists. “What will it be? It won’t be human, not totally, but it can’t be a gem either. You can’t make a new gem with your body. You can’t make a new gem, _period._ ”

 The silence returns. Pearl feels Rose getting tense and she knows they’re both thinking of the Kindergarten.

“No, I can’t make a new gem,” Rose says quietly. “But it will have mine.”

This is it. Rose didn’t come here to talk about having a child with Greg. She came to talk about _this_. Pearl feels her throat getting tight. “Rose, what are you talking about?”

Rose puts her other hand on Pearl’s shoulder, holds her at arm’s length. “I have spent my time here, I have loved this earth, but I’m so tired, Pearl. I just… I just want to be someone else. This is the closest I can get to fusion with a human.

 “We need you, you can’t leave. Who’s going to protect the Earth if you don’t?” Pearl is calm, reasonable even. She knows she is right. She can win this battle.

“I’m not leaving, I’ll be here, I’ll always be here.” Rose removes a hand to play with her hair, a painfully human gesture. “I’ll just be different.”

“It won’t be the same!” Pearl’s shoulders shake. Her calm is cracking. She breathes, resets. “You won’t be you. Some half human creature will have your gem but it won’t be you.”

Rose sighs and her mouth twists into a sad smile. “You’re right, it won’t be me, but I’m afraid that’s for the best.”

Pearl frowns. Her eyebrows scrunch up in confusion. Before she can ask, Rose pushes on. “I’m not as wonderful as you think I am, Pearl. I’ve done so many awful things. I need to start again, to become more innocent, purer.”

This is too much. Pearl takes a step back, mouth falling open as Rose withdraws her touch altogether. “Purer? Fusing with the _human_ is going to purify you? He’s nobody! He lives in that van, he can’t even sing! He can’t protect you!”

_Not like I can._

“I don’t expect you to understand.” Rose says this kindly, but firmly. “But love…, its complicated.”

“Love?” Pearl barks with a harsh laugh. “You think _I_ don’t understand love?” She laughs again and it echoes in the huge room. “I have loved you for _centuries!”_

It’s out in the open now and Pearl can do nothing to call it back. She feels like an animal in a cage, a bundle of tense muscles and bared fangs.

“I know.”

Of course Rose knows. Rose knows everything. It’s so obvious.

Her sad smile has wilted and her eyes are so understanding. Too understanding. She’s pitying Pearl.

“If you know then fuse with me!” Pearl’s shouting, her voice amplified by the empty halls. All her pride has gone and there’s nothing holding her together anymore. “We can be Rainbow Quartz forever! Just like Garnet.” But she’s grasping at the straws now. She knows this won’t happen, it will never happen. She just wants to hear it for herself.

She wants to know why. What does Greg have that she doesn’t?

But Rose won’t indulge her. “You know I can’t,” Rose says softly. “I’m sorry Pearl, but I’ve already made up my mind. I just wanted you to know. Please don’t tell the others that bringing another life into this world will cost me my physical form.”

And just like that she has been dismissed. Though often warm and carefree, Rose has proven time and time again that she is their leader for a reason.

Pearl wants to be a child about this. She wants to scream, to tell Rose she isn’t going to keep her precious secrets anymore. That she should find a new confidant. _Maybe,_ she thinks snidely, _you can tell your beloved Greg that his child will effectively kill you._

But she doesn’t. The ever faithful solider, Pearl bows.

Rose hates it when she bows.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am sure this exact fic has been written 20 million times before. Hope I brought something new to the genre? :P Title lifted from the lyrics to "Jenny" by The Studio Killers. It's better than my working title, which was JUST DO IT FOR HER.


End file.
